An Apology

Please read my previous post here *before* reading this one.
I was confronted by something last night besides my Rockhampton fears and other issues. I subconsciously used what should have stayed a friendship, to block my grief. I made more of what was there in my own mind, without thought. I blocked everything, not thinking of anyone but her. She warned me. Many times. She even suggested it was too soon for me. She said, way back,”there is nothing between us. I am not interested in a relationship”. How clear can you get? But I ignored the advice and the truth. I fucked with her emotions as well,and I read the wrong signals. And for a while I forgot. Forgot the hurt and focussed on trying to create a relationship that would never, could never happen. In reality it was pretty well a one-sided thing. I was just grasping for more. I still have the same feelings for her, but the grief and loss are back too. The harsh realities of life.
Rosie, I hope we can stay friends, and still talk. I enjoy our chats. I apologise for causing conflict for you.

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