Of Opportunity, Fate, and Free Will

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Seems every time I have a conflict in my head, I discuss it with myself and you folk that honour me by reading this space.

I am on the edge of a serious conflict going on inside my brain. My selves are arguing like children ad nauseum about some stuff that happened today. 

I have some very serious life issues to consider at this point in the ongoing journey of my time
on this planet. For a long time I have avoided or reneged on responsibilities because I either didn’t think I could handle it, or it just hurt my brain. For nigh on five years now I (once we) lived with minimal material possessions. I long lost the understanding of needing certain things. Stuff I considered unnecessary at one point in my life were a house, as in all the stuff associated with a house; toilet, bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, and yes a fridge. I did not need a ‘home’, as my four wheel drive was home, and wherever we were, we were home.

The time has come to decide whether I want to continue to live a quite, easy life without any real responsibility. Or do I want to travel another path that, in its existence, will require a serious change of lifestyle with very real challenges, yet deliver untold joy in the long term.

I know the path I want to travel. It is the path that the strong of will Me would follow. The path that keeps my head high and my heart singing. However, I want to travel that path without losing ‘Me’again. I know that won’t happen, because I won’t let it happen.

Some may think that living my hassle free lifestyle is idyllic. Yes, it can be at times. But I’ve learnt some stuff these past months. Home is not a place. Home is something you feel in your heart. Sometimes you know in an instant that something is right.

I have a To Do list (a new concept for me) that goes something like this:

Get Ooo installed (Open Office).

Finalise resume and job application (mostly copy and paste from text edit now).

(Hopefully) Get job.

Keep looking for positions in the Southeast.

Begin saving some money.

Enjoy myself whilst doing the above.

When the planets are in the right alignment*, move South.

(*or whatever influences get me there)

Have fun and smiles in my life 🙂

OK, I didn’t have a To Do list. I just ordered the jumble in my mind of what I want to do before another year passes. There is somewhere I want to be, and dare I say it, I need to be there. For myself. Α to Ω

 

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